Wednesday, October 11, 2006

I sucks in telling jokes

[Edit: For those who can't understand the sh*t joke, I'd drawn a comic stripe MYSELF for your understanding]

Sigh
.. another thing that I'm bad at.

It's true that I'm a funny person (ask any of my friends), but when it comes to telling jokes, I'm told that I'm bad at it.. or they thought so. (I don't want to admit bah!)

It's either -

1. I haven't finish telling the joke, me myself already non-stop laughing. And spoil the whole thing.

Example:

"Once upon a time, HAHAHAHAHAHAA, there's are man who has a pet dog.. Then ah, HAHAHAHAHAA, the dog ah... so funny. HAHAHAHAHAHAA."

Then my friends will stare at me and give me the look. Till I force myself to stop laughing and finish telling the joke, my lousy friends go like.. "Huh? Funny meh? How can you laugh till like that?"

And give me this look (-__-)"'


2. They don't think the joke I said is funny. Either because their level not as 'high' as me, or their Chinese sucks!

(Blow? My blog.. I can angkat myself as much as I like.)

But still.. I love to FORCE them hear my jokes till I habis!

Everytime I go like..
"Oi, I got one joke. You must listen and laugh after you hear it ah! Must ah!"

Then lousy friends will give each other the "eye" and say, "Eh, she want to tell a joke ah. Remember must laugh ah. If not later she angry beh-song ah"

Yadda, yadda, yadda... (Telling the joke)

Friend: Huh? Finish already? Err.. Shall I laugh now?
Me: *Roll eyes and show sour face*
Friend: Oh Oh. Ok OK. HA.HA.HA. So funny your joke.
Me: @!^%#@^%!@ [Insert any bad word of your choice]

Bobby can be a good listener sometimes.. but ah, this fat guy sometimes also very kanasai one.

Me: (Telling Joke)
Bobby: Finish already?
Me: Ya! You should laugh by now! Come on, laugh!
Bobby: *Pause for 3 seconds* Err.. You want to laugh at your joke, or... laugh at you?!

CILAKA! Got this kind of boyfriend or not you tell me!

Of course, sometimes I have great listeners who laugh more than what I expected. That, really makes me feel satisfied and proud. Hehe.

I don't know why, maybe I'm born to be a clown? I remembered back in my secondary, I was being labelled as "The Class Clown". I also don't know whether I should feel happy about it or go home hug my pillow and cry... worrying no one will love me seriously in the future.

(I was only 15,16. Of course can think of a lot of stupid worries lah..Don't everyone feels the same?)

Ok... Sure some of you want to try my Joking-Kungfu. Anxious leh? Be prepare ah.

Go and get ready by taking tissue paper to wipe your tears because you might cry because it's too funny...

Or go get a blanket or sweater to wear in case you catch cold by my stupid lame jokes.

[Not terus copy and paste from Internet one ok!]


One day, there's a shit... (tahi, ta-pien, poo-poo, whatever you call it) walking on the street and it saw another shit walking towards him.

Shit A : Wah Seh! You very fair lah. What whitenning products you use one? SKII or Kanebo? Share with me your tips lah.

And the "shit" answered angrily,
"People is Ice-cream lah!"



Too small cannot see? Bah, One by One ah.


Funny?

(Now don't go laugh at my ugly-primary-kid handwriting, and also my drawing skill)

One more... even lame one I heard recently..

Question: If the husband get diabetes, his wife will mostly likely suffer from what?

.
.
.
.
.

Answer: Tooth Decay.
(If you don't get it.. that means you're really pure and innocent)

Actually, I'm better in telling "Yellow" jokes lah. If you guys ever read my Friendster testimonials, most of my lousy friends say that my brain very dirty and I'm very yellow.

Don't listen to them. They're just jealous I got the talent in saying dirty jokes.

Muahahhaha!

Yes I know! Nobody wants that kind of TALENT! Especially a girl!
(I just want to make myself feel better baa....)

The picture.. just kidding ok. Don't go call me "Princess of Dirty Joke". Pardon my messy hair. I took this picture after I finished cooking. So I looked like a mess.

I'm more than a Princess. I'm
KING!

p/s: If you guys like to hear more jokes from me, give me some support then once in a while I tell you people some. Promise not those jokes that you had already read 30 times from forward mails.

21 comments:

War186 said...

Haha you really are funny but your jokes I'm sorry to say I don't get hehe. Both jokes you wrote down I don't understand. Why people is icecream? And why tooth decay? Sorry Nonnie, maybe I'm just slow hehe.

But I'd love to hear more of your jokes. :)

Nonnie King said...

So sad...........

Ok. Later I'll edit the joke into comic stripe!

I feel like crying lor.

Paupau said...

don't cry lah nonnie,i can understand what your jokes are..both of your jokes are quite cold lor..but i like cold jokes a lot..lol..

give you one cold joke,don't know whether you heard that before or not..

1.what noodles is the heaviest in the world?

give you the answers later..=p

Iwan said...

To war 186,
The spouse got a tooth decay cos she sucked her hubby and since her husbang have diabetes, she must have consumed so much "sweet" liquids..

Am i right Nonnie???

Muqahahahahahah!!!!

I am aslo good at tellin yellow jokes u know....

Lalalalalalala!!!

Anonymous said...

haha sometimes i laugh before i let out the punchline lol..

Nonnie King said...

De Pianist : Heaviest Noodle? That’s interesting… Must Must tell me the answer if not I cannot sleep one leh!

Iwan : Eee… I don’t know what are you talking about er. I’m pure and innocent one. *Angelic Puppy Eyes*

Sha : Hehe. Thank God I’m not the only one. :p

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahaha, its not that i pause so long to laugh at ur joke nonnie, its just that my brain is taking long time to transmite msg to my humour nerve in my body to laugh. But no matter whether the joke is cold, dirty or out-of-date, in the end i will still laugh with u cos u r my only sources where get to know jokes which i never heard before.

PS: Happy Anniversary :)

Unknown said...

LOL... dun putus asa... just keep trying, last time i oso dunno telling jokes 1... practice make perfect ma.

Cheers!

Nonnie King said...

People. Seen the comic I drew?

Bah.Now you all should be able to understand liao kua???

Comment on my drawing skill yah.

Paupau said...

nonnie,can't sleep ar..oklah..tell you ar..i know you will feel very cold d lor..hahaha

1.what noodles is the heaviest in the world?

Ans:wan tan mee (one tonne mee)

get it?=p

uglyfatchick (Chicky) said...

lols.

Same as me. everytime i tell joke, i cannot stop laughing.. My friends call me mad. coz everything I also can laugh.. then laugh can laugh until cry. My cry is not those sob sob kind.. is those like super sad big cry kind. -.-

Nonnie King said...

De Pianist : You're now officially the "Queen of Cold Jokes", my sworn enemy also. Hahhahaaa.

Christina : Hehe. Must try your laughing power that can laugh till cry one!

LuUeE said...

hahaha.. Nonnie, That's a really cool original. Sometimes, i think hershey looks like poo poo too. mwhahah..

I think i like people who r funny and can take jokes. Makes life a better n brighter. =p

lunaticgal said...

huu huu nonnie.. luckily i can understand wat u draw :D nice ma...

and not so cold yet... atleast win the pinanist abit ar.. :P

ok ok also ebtter than me, cz b4 i joke , i laugh until when my joke finish and no one can never undesrtand.. this is call "high level " ma.. im lunatic wat

IngSiang said...

Haha, lame jokes seems to be the hottest thing around these years. =) I have a lot of dirty jokes, haha, I think they're the only jokes people really(will) laugh at? Haha. =)

Anyway, first time to comment here. =) Link exchange? =)

Nonnie King said...

Luuee : Find one day we come out makan lah. See who's more funny.

Lunatic Gal : Hahaha. Finally found some "知音" liao! Your level really high leh. But your blog seems a bit lost touch of "lunacy".

Ing Siang : Sure sure. Link added. Got dirty jokes share share lah.

Wei De said...

I m too innocent to udnerstand e joke...

lolz

Anonymous said...

Thank you Iwan Sanchez. When you put it like that it's easier to understand hehe.

Oh Nonnie I just understood your 'white shit' joke. Rupanya ice-cream. Nice drawing. Makes the joke a lot funnier. ;)

Nonnie King said...

Wei De : Don't pretend pretend lah~ I don't believe you eh.

War186 : Thanks to Iwan for being my joke translator, I malu explain bah.

Hehe. My drawing enhance the joke leh~? Ai... I know I do have the talent one. hahahaha.

BaBy JeE said...

nonnie... I like the ice-cream joke,you made it yourself?? keke got drawing summore.cute cute... my bro always tell me, nonnie and bobby are such cute couples, and i had to agree... kekeke...

Nonnie King said...

Thanks Jee~ =^_^=

I have no choice but draw it because most of the people don't get the joke. My drawing-kungfu also not bad heh?